“I never gave him a blowjob,” Chloe tells me as she pulls into his driveway.
“You rarely give anyone blowjobs,” I say and roll my eyes at her.
“That’s true” she says and turns to me. “This isn’t too weird, is it?”
I smile at her. “It’s definitely weird, but we’re weird.”
“We are weird,” she agrees with her own smile. “I feel like a mom dropping off her kid on their first day of school. Don’t give into peer pressure and make good choices and all that shit.”
“Don’t worry Mom,” I say, dragging out the last word sarcastically, “I’ll definitely only make the right choices while banging your boyfriend.”
“Ex-boyfriend,” she corrects.
“Fine,” I say with another smile. “Let me out so I can go bang your ex-boyfriend.”
…
His name is Evan, a 30-something year old finance guy that Chloe met on Tinder. She was excited at first. He was a little older, already had a career, and owned his own home. He was also extremely attractive, in the most ridiculously conventional of ways: tall with dark hair, bright blue eyes, and a jawline so pristine that it was hard to look at him and not think about sitting on his face. She spent a month dragging him around on elaborate dates that he always agreed to pay for. I met him twice and both times he had struck me as nice, if a little boring. Like someone entered in a code for “generic white guy” and out popped Evan.
Of course, this was exactly the type of guy Chloe wanted, someone she could mold and shape into a perfect boyfriend. But she also wanted a guy who would tie her up and cum all over her face. In other words, she wanted a simp in the streets and a dom in the sheets. What could I say? My best friend was complex.
That complexity is what drove Chloe to break up with him. It’s not that the sex sucked, but there was just something about it that she couldn’t quite describe – even when I pushed her on it.
“If I asked him to do something, he did it and it felt great, but it was always just so awkward and strange,” she told me right after she broke up with him.
“You keep just saying it’s strange, but you never really describe what you mean by that.”
“I don’t know. He never seemed horny, like ever, and we only had sex when I suggested it.”
“Let me get this right. You want me to have sex with someone who you can only describe as ‘strange’ in bed? But who also doesn’t seem to like having sex at all?” I asked, confusion in my voice.
“You’re just so open and straightforward about sex. I figured if anyone could handle sex with him, it would be you. Maybe he wants someone who will take control and you love doing that,” she said, a coy smile on her face.
I did love taking control in bed. Besides, Evan was hot as hell and how often did one of your friends beg you to fuck their newly minted ex-boyfriend?
“You mean he wants someone whos’ not just an ultra-submissive pillow princess?” I asked, mimicking her teasing attitude.
“Shut up!” she exclaimed, but I can hear the laugh in her voice. “Will you do it or not?”
I let out a sigh: “Okay, you weirdo, I’ll do it. Text the guy who just broke up this morning and ask him if he’d like to have sex with your best friend.”
…
What do you say to the guy you’ve only ever had two conversations with but agreed to fuck on a whim? Not much, so it’s probably easier just to get down to business.
“Is this okay?” I ask, settling myself on top of him. I t’s his house, but I was the one who pulled us to the bed and straddled him.
“Yeah, it’s hot,” he says, gripping my thighs. Even though a surge goes through me, my body thrilling at the idea of everything we’re about to do, there’s also something in the way he says it that doesn’t feel quite right, an awkward pull just around the edges. But then he squeezes my thighs again and says: “I like how we’re just getting right into it.”
Another thrill runs through me as he does so, washing away any hints of worry. I lean down and put my mouth on his.
He kisses like he read a manual on how to do so. Mouth and tongue making just the right motions, gripping my legs and hips as I grind against him. Our mouths move together for three, five, or maybe even ten minutes and I can feel the heat of each minute between my legs. I pull back from his lips and run my tongue and teeth along that perfect jawline. He moans as I do so, but there’s something hallow about it that I can’t quite put my finger on.
I pull back for a moment, “Did you enjoy that?”
His eyes knit together in confusion, “I mean, yeah…totally.”
That same awkward pull is in his voice, dancing around the edge of his tone. Maybe he’s just nervous, or shy, or something else? Maybe he just needs a little more encouragement?
“Then you’ll probably like this too,” I say, making my voice soft and seductive, in that way I know normally melts most guys. As I speak, I lift my dress over my head, revealing a lacy bra and panties.
He sucks in a breath, “Yeah, that’s nice too.”
There’s no hint of awkwardness, so I lean back down to kiss him again. I’m sloppier this time, heated and messy with my lips and tongue. He’s gripping at my ass with one hand and cupping at one of my tits with another. He’s kissing down my neck and at the top of my chest, and it all feels incredible. Like he’s taking my energy and matching it exactly.
I pull myself up every so slightly, reach underneath the band of his sweatpants – but he’s not even hard at all.
…
“I think I’ll have to get myself hard first,” he says, pulling away from me.
“Sure,” I say, lifting myself off him, a little confused. With the way he was acting while we were making out, I would have thought he was a stiff as a board by now – but I guess he wasn’t. I sit back and watch as he pulls his dick out of his pants, gripping it in one hand.
“Do you want to take that off?” he says, looking me up and down.
“You too,” I respond. He pauses his hand, nods, and lifts his shirt over his head. Then he pulls his sweatpants and boxers off. As he grabs himself again and starts moving up and down, I slip out of my bra and panties. As I do, I see a noticeable twitch in his cock…he’s actually getting hard.
I think back to what Chloe said before we got here, “Maybe I can give you a blow job?”
His eyes brighten at that, “Yeah, I’d really like that.”
I lean down, move his hand away and replace it with the warmth of my own. I tease him at first, licking up and down the sides and when I glance above me, his eyes are closed, and there’s a slight moan falling out of his lips.
I wrap my mouth just around the tip of him, swirling my tongue in a circle. This earns me a full moan. I take as much of him as I can in my mouth then, my head and my hand moving together in motion. I pull up and off him, swirl my tongue around his tip again and then push back down – taking the heat of him in and out of my mouth.
“Um,” he says, taking a breathy pause after only a moment. It’s a sound that I’d normally associate with a guy getting close, but on Evan it sounds like he’s uncomfortable. “We should probably start, before I lose it.”
“You want to have sex?” I ask, confused, used to guys who want blow jobs that last forever.
“Yeah, I want to be inside of you already,” he responds, and it sends a rushing heat through me that pushes away all my confusion.
….
“I like it when girls are on top,” he says and it’s the exact right tone, the exact right cadence…but he looks away as he says it, not at me or my body as I lower myself onto him. It’s he doesn’t quite believe his own words.
Maybe I’m getting too much in my head about this? Because he’s hard and filling me in all the right ways. I rock on top of him and he helps, thrusting up into me and grabbing at my ass. He’s moaning too, his eyes closed. But closed tight enough that it looks like he’s concentrating really hard – and that’s when I feel it, he’s softening inside of me and losing his boner.
“Evan,” I say, pulling up and off him. “You’re not really hard anymore.”
His eyes open wide and a flash of embarrassment dances across his face. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.”
….
“Do you enjoy sex?” I ask.
“I like to get off,” he replies.
“I didn’t ask if you liked to get off, I asked if you like sex.”
He looks at me and lets out an exhausted sigh, “I don’t know. I masturbate. And I think women are ridiculously attractive. You’re hot, Chloe was hot! But I lose it during sex! I just watch porn and try to do what they do there, because that’s what my partners seem to like, but nothing ever goes right for me during sex…”
His face looks a little helpless, like he can’t quite find the right words. It dawns on me suddenly. Chloe and Evan were never going to work out, nor was this little triste that she arranged between me and her ex-boyfriend.
“Evan, have you heard the term asexuality?”
“No,” he says and looks at me. There’s something about his face that I can’t quite place, and I realize that it’s the first time he’s looked at me with genuine excitement. “What is it?”
…
“So how was school, darling?” Chloe asks as I get back into her car.
“Oh my god, stop that,” I say, holding back a laugh. “It was fine.”
“Just fine?” she asks, her eyebrows raised and her mouth opening again…
“Chloe, I think Evan is asexual,” I say, cutting her off before she can ask anything else.
“Oh,” she says, long and drawn out.
“I mean, I think he’ll have to figure it out himself. But we tried to have sex and it didn’t work and I just asked him outright whether he likes sex or not. He likes to cum, but he doesn’t like sex, so I’m sure here’s somewhere on the spectrum,” I explain in a rush.
She nods and I can see the realization on her face too, like she’s remembering all the intimate moments with him during their four weeks together and seeing the places where him being asexual was obvious – something I was able to figure out in a single night, but took my best friend a little longer to understand.
“Huh,” she said, after a few moments. “Well, I guess you get a good story out of this, about banging your best friend’s boyfriend.”
“Ex-boyfriend” I say with a smile. “I hope it ends up being a good story for Evan too.”
---
by anonymous
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