top of page
  • Writer's pictureLacuna Magazine

Stripped of Emotion


staring at the smudges on the Erased De Kooning

stepping closer and stepping back

my feet squeak on the Pergo wood floor,


I feel nothing.


people mull about

looking at the contemporary art

engaged in quiet conversations.


I lose myself in the nothingness of the De Kooning

hung on an otherwise blank wall

at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art.


lost in reverie, my mind wanders to just outside Jerusalem

standing on future sacred ground; I look up

at the cross that holds Jesus, palms and feet

nailed into the firm grip of the cypress

my eyes scan the bellowing crowd

anguish, pain and tears

flood outside the city walls--

I wonder to myself if Rauschenberg felt such emotion too.


I tilt my head slightly to the left,

examining the erasure marks.

doing the math, I surmise

if Kennedy had done the same

he would have evaded the bite

of the bullet in Dealey Plaza; now, I stand on a grassy knoll

overwhelmed with emotion, looking around,

a city weeps; a country mourns.


I consider the moment,

Rauschenberg frantically, vehemently

erasing De Kooning's drawing,

a mad scramble like at the Las Vegas Village

Stephen Craig Paddock scattershot into a crowd

people dropping or diving to the ground,

De Kooning's drawing ripped to pieces,

torn like a country lost to politics (insanity).


that didn't happen.

Rauschenberg was not frantic; he was

calculating, carefully

deconstructing the ideas of De Kooning.


I notice a janitor wheeling a mop bucket

following a young woman, who stops,

points to the floor.

I don't see anything from where I sit,

but then again, do any of us really see the whole picture?


I can make out parts of the painting there,

looks like the American flag, a fireman kneeling.

the woman looks distraught;

maybe the moment has become too much for her too.


yeah, Rauschenberg, he took his time,

knew what he was doing, taking

apart the hard work of another man is a tedious job.


standing, again I approach the nothingness

up close, I see the remnants,

flecks of what had existed

before De Kooning gave his express permission

to Rauschenberg to alter his picture forever,

but I detect no sense of what existed before.


that night in the Canopy by Hilton overlooking San Francisco

I watch the news, Tucker Carlson,

espouses opinions about the insurrection of January 6th,

block eraser in hand, carefully he rubs out

the works of Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin--

without their permission.

people climb walls, break windows, storm the Capitol,

each given an eraser, by Trump, by Carlson

no emotion, just cold calculation.


I turn the T.V. off.

I just can't put my John Hancock on that.


it is overcast, mid-November, 1863

in a Pennsylvania field near the town of Gettysburg

weary and worn but buoyed

Lincoln addresses the gathering crowd,

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers

brought forth on this continent a new nation,

conceived in Liberty, and dedicated

to the proposition that all men are created equal."


The emotion of the crowd is palpable.

I admire the resolve to sacrifice self for ideals.


"Now, we are engaged in a great civil war,

testing whether that nation

or any nation so conceived and so dedicated,

can long endure. We are met

on a great battle-field of that war.

We have come to dedicate a portion of that field,

as a final resting place for those

who here gave their lives that that nation

might live."


I stand in awe, like all the others, and applaud.


in a muddy trench, 1918, north of Lille, France,

I sit talking to Corporal Martin

his back rests against the front side of the ditch

his rifle between his legs rests against his chest.

he has a small American flag patch in one hand;

a picture of a beautiful girl in the other.

he kisses the picture putting it into his breast pocket,

salutes the flag and does the same,

clutching his gun, he jumps out and over the berm.


a beautiful drawing erased

just a blank white slate, no emotion.


bullets ricochet off the landing craft, June 6, 1944,

Colonel Rogers screams, “Disembark!”

men that are boys, boys dressed as men

splash into the waist-high Atlantic at Omaha Beach

screams fill the air, some from determination,

others from the undertow of barbed wire waves tearing skin,

still others from German machine gun rounds.

in waves, they wade through the blood

crashing upon the shore

dodging the dead, running for the safety

at the base of the cliffs, where bravery climbs the grim

face of freedom

endangered,


no one will remember what has been erased.


I turn the T.V. back on, the images boggle,

people, Americans, scaling walls of the United States Capitol

assaulting democracy.


I am sitting in 8th grade social studies class,

Mr. Carlson, who looks a bit like Ol' Abe,

explains the sacrifices, people,

families have made to fight for my freedom.

I hide the emotion, choked up

with American pride.


January 6, 2021, I watch as President Trump speaks,

"Today, we see a very important event, though,

because right over there, right there,

we see the event that's going to take

place, and I'm going to be watching

because history is going to be made.

we're going to see whether or not

we have great and courageous

leaders or whether or not we

have leaders that should be

ashamed of themselves throughout history,

throughout eternity. They'll be ashamed.

and you know what? If they do the wrong thing,

we should never, ever forget that they did.

never forget."


history can never be erased.

Freedom can never be erased!



--

by Scott Sharpe


Scott Sharpe has a B.A. in Literature and English with an emphasis in creative writing from California State University San Bernardino.  Sharpe has been an English teacher for 21 years, and enjoys reading and teaching others the power of language.  A perfect day starts with writing, has teaching sandwiched in the middle and ends reading or writing.



23 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page